The Day I Met My Future Son

Standard

Processed with VSCOcam with hb2 preset

The first time I met my future stepson and his daddy, it was the summer of 2007. At the time I was invited by a friend of mine to go with her, her boyfriend and some of his friends to float down the river. When my friend and I got there we were introduced to my future hubbs and his son.

We met up and got our gear and headed down the river. On the way up the river we stopped and my friend talked me into jumping off a 40 foot cliff with her into the water. I know what your thinking, because I’m thinking it now. What the hell was I thinking? I actually lost my shoes in the water!

Afterwards it was the sweetest thing, this little boy offered me his sandals. Of course his dad stepped in and gave  his son his own shoes (or else I wouldn’t have taken them). I remember thinking how sweet. What a gentlemen! He was 12 years old at the time.

Although I didn’t realize it at the time, a lot more happened that day then me jumping of a 40 foot cliff like some crazy person. My life changed forever for the better. Unbeknownst to me I found my future. My family.

Its funny how things happened sometimes. One minute I was  a single mother to a 18 month old little girl just trying to provide a life for her. Within a year her and I added two more to our little wolf pack. And within two more years we had another daughter. On the day our sons little sister was born he made sure he was the first one to hold her. She was so tiny in his hands, yet he was so careful with her. Looking at them I thought to myself what lucky little girls they were to have such a good big brother. He was 15 at the time and I knew then he would always look out for both his sisters no matter what.

Around that time something amazing happened, our son picked up a guitar for the first time. Oh he was good, he was really good! I couldn’t believe it.

Of course just when he practically master’s it  (a year and a half later) he shocks the hell out of all of us and switches to the drums. I’m not going to lie I was a little heart broken. He was so good on the guitar! He went on to master those as well, and in his senior year he was picked as the best percussionist in the entire county! He is now a junior in college, on a scholarship for music at San Francisco State University. He worked so hard. He practiced daily with his band. And went above and beyond all our hopes for him. He has such a bright future ahead. I can’t wait to see what’s next.

Although, I think of him as one of my own, I know he has an amazing mother and I don’t try to replace that. He doesn’t call me mom and he doesn’t have to. I know this might not be the case for some but I’m lucky enough to actually really like his mom. She’s genuinely a nice person.

As for me I never would have dreamed I would get to witness such an amazing journey. This small boy who I watched slowly grow into the charasmatic and amazing man he is today. I’m so proud of him. He is one of the most talented musicians I have ever met, and I’m just so glad I got to be a part of his life.

As I look back on my life I will always remember how a forty foot drop and a pair of sandals from one awesome kid changed my life.

The rules of engagment, with other peoples kids

Standard

FF29114102

As a parent I try to always be respectful to other peoples children. Actually I was like this before I was a parent. I think I’m just more aware of it now.  Once you have your own children, it quickly becomes apparent what is and what isn’t, an appropriate reaction to other peoples kids. Every once in awhile, you meet someone who just doesn’t care, and when you do it completely shocks you.

Recently I have had the “pleasure” of being around such a person. This is what has prompted me to write this blog. I thought to myself, I can’t be the only parent out there dealing with a person like this. Especially if your in a situation like I am, and are trying to be diplomatic about the whole thing, so as not to upset anyone else, like a friend or family member of the person.

So a few weeks back my husband and I took our kids over to a friendly get together, which we attend once in awhile. At these get together’s there are other kids running around playing with our kids. While all the parents get a chance to catch up. A good time is had by all. Usually.

Lately it feels like one of the adults has singled out my youngest child, and deemed her a brat. Now for the most part my four year old was pretty we’ll behaved. She is however still a small child, which goes without saying she also acts like a small child. Crazy I know.

A couple weeks back this person heard me ask my child to stop running and, took it upon themselves to yell at my child, over me and her dad telling her to stop running. I should point out that she wasn’t the only one running, but she was the only one who was singled out. This has happend on more then one occasion. With this same person and my youngest child. Let me tell you, hearing another person raise their voice at your child is not only shocking, its humiliating for my child and me.

Afterwards I thought back on the situation, and how I could have politely schooled this person on how to deal with another’s child (or for those who just don’t get it).

Rules of engagement when dealing with my or anyone else’s child,

1. If my child is breaking some rule, its my job as the parent to handle it. Please don’t take it upon yourself to raise your voice at my child (honestly if it would have been a teacher they would of lost there job, just saying) I prefer I be the only one yelling at my kids, and usually that only happens after they have slowly driven me crazy all day, and when we are well away from prying eyes.

2. If you feel my child needs to be reprimanded please come and tell me the parent, and I will take it from there. As parents our job is to protect our children, having another person who really doesn’t know my child raise their voice at them, tends to bring the mama bear out in me no matter who you are.

3. Please don’t call any child a  liar (PERIOD). Even if you think my child is lying about the toy she brought. If its not your child or it has nothing to do with your child, please stay out of it.

Really its not like I wanted the damn toy in the first place, but if she’s that adamant she brought it (it did look familiar), and if it is hers, she has the right to take it home. Just for the record, it was later proven by an eye witness that she did bring the stupid 50¢ purple dinosaur in question with her. Believe me I would much rather leave it there so as to slowly thin out there toy collection. It just so happens on this night my sweet little angel knew exactly what she brought with her, and was going to have a major blow out if she didn’t leave with it (she slipped by me that night, usually my number one rule because of situations like this is, NO toys outside the car)

So there it, is my three simple rules of engagement when it comes to avoiding conflict over other people’s kids. Honestly I don’t even like yelling at my own kids, let alone yelling at someone else’s. Believe me my hands are full enough already, and unless the other kids are hurting themselves or someone else, I’m just going to keep on walking. Who’s with me?